I’m on the verge of tears by the time the Apple keynote livestream starts, because I’m sure the WiFi will lag. But it runs smoothly, and relief washes over me in an awesome wave.

Tim Cook takes the stage. “Apple has always believed that technology infused with humanity can improve people’s lives and change the world,” he says.

It’s a powerful statement, delivered with a grandeur that approaches the sublime. The universal message crosses all boundaries and instills one with the hope that it’s not too late for us to better ourselves.

The iPhone X is the star of the show. Oh, my God! Look at that subtle golden finish. The tasteful slenderness. It’s made from an aerospace-grade 7000 series custom aluminum alloy. The glass has a seven-layer colour process, to make sure it’s a beautiful precise hue. I’m sweating…